Image by The Michael via Flickr

Chinese doctors report that that they successfully transplanted a penis from a donor they thought was brain dead to a guy who lost his in an "accident." Reports by our private dick's, during a secret investigation tell a different story however, as it turns out the recipient of the new schlong was none other than Richard Wayne Bobbitt, son of the infamous John Wayne Bobbitt. You may remember him from the 90's as the poor schmuck that had his member whacked off by his Lithuanian wife Lorena while he slept.

It seems as though this kind of thing runs in the family because Richard's wife Roweena, also Lithuanian, took a lesson from step mom Lorena and cut off Richard's member while he was passed out after a drunken altercation when he couldn't perform "up" to her standards on the eve of their second anniversary. Roweena Bobbitt was quoted later as saying, "well if the dick can't get it up any more what good is it?" Good point!

There are two major problems with this story. The first is that the actual donor of the transplanted penis, a 22-year old man, reportedly in a brain-dead coma, later awakened to find he had been "shafted" by his ex wife. Turns out he had just passed out from a binge with the bottle. He is now suing the ex and the doctors who cut it off.

Problem number two is that Richard and his wife experienced "psychological" problems and less than two weeks after the surgery had his new member whacked off. Once again our private dick's went back on the case and uncovered the real reason for the removal. The truth was finally revealed during a hidden camera investigation as Roweena's hysterical laughter pierced the quiet night of their trailer park, and her shouts of "pencil dick" reverberated throughout the land. It was just too small by Roweena's standards and at press time she was reportedly seen entering a morgue in Africa.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Man Assaults Female Police Officer With Penis (xo.typepad.com)

Being a Dick Recommends

• The Kobe Sucks Chant (A Wandering Mind)
• More respect for breakfast (A Wandering Mind)
• There’s Only One Secret To Affiliate Marketing Success! (Gold & Silver Super Affiliate)

I always suspected those British folks were a bit off, cool accents and all, I guess it just rains too much in the UK. Maybe that's why they can eat stuff like Spotted Dick, because it's a sponge pudding, ha ha! Take it out of the can, use it to mop up the leaks and munch away. I can think of about a hundred things I would rather eat for desert than this stuff. If anyone has any comments about the taste feel free to offer your opinion.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Traditional British Recipe: Eccles Cakes (thekitchn.com)
• Because it's Friday: The Internet is Made of Cats (revolution-computing.com)
• David Livingston Takes His Big Dick Around NYC (laughingsquid.com)

More From Being a Dick

• Sitemap

Being a Dick Recommends

• More respect for breakfast (A Wandering Mind)
• The Kobe Sucks Chant (A Wandering Mind)
• Hangover food: Cheese Plate (A Wandering Mind)

Words to live by

Related articles by Zemanta

• "You Better Get Out of Here Before I Cut Your Dick Off." (slog.thestranger.com)
• Dick Slang (75.101.183.223)
• Dicks bent on appropriations gavel (powerlineblog.com)
• Activists Arrested At Dick Durbin's Office During Sit In (lezgetreal.com)

More From Being a Dick

• Sitemap

Being a Dick Recommends

• More respect for breakfast (A Wandering Mind)
• The Kobe Sucks Chant (A Wandering Mind)
• footer test (Gold & Silver Super Affiliate)

This is a hilarious video of an amazing product.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Video Compilation of the Best FAILS of 2010 (hilarious and ouch!) (url.ie)
• Soldiers dance to Lady Gaga (trueslant.com)
• Hilarious Goal Celebration Must SEE! (video) (ballhype.com)
• Video: Glee Sneak Peek (shoppingblog.com)
• Headbanging While Making Fire (metalsucks.net)
• Kinnernet 2010 – Don't stop me now LIPDUB (toddrjordan.com)
• How Does Technology Affect Kids' Friendships? (Hilary Stout/New York Times) (techmeme.com)
• sue sylvester & olivia newton-john get 'physical' (popbytes.com)

More From Being a Dick

• Sitemap

Being a Dick Recommends

• More respect for breakfast (A Wandering Mind)
• There’s Only One Secret To Affiliate Marketing Success! (Gold & Silver Super Affiliate)
• footer test (Gold & Silver Super Affiliate)